Really, Are You Still Married?

Women don’t really need men anymore. Not in the traditional manner anyway. Men are not the sole financial earners that they used to be. Women don’t need men to bring home the bacon. They own the damn hog farm.

For the first time in the history of the United States, married couples are a minority. That is official. They have crunched the numbers, added up the figures, sub-divided, multiplied and fractioned the average. And the conclusion…..51 percent of women presently living in the United States are now living without a spouse.

Fresh off the press: The Census Bureau.

I Mean Really, Who Cares?

A lot of unnecessary hard work to determine that marriage as an institution is dying in the Western world. The wino on Fifth Avenue, could have told them that. He is also a single parent. He contributed to the numbers that led the Bureau to its present conclusion. He has all the answers in his brown paper bag. All they had to do was ask!

It’s nine O clock at night; do you know where your children are?

No sir, he does not know where his children are.

Gloria Steinem once said, “Marriage is a fine institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet.”

Want to have children, go to a Sperm Bank.

I don’t know who said that.

In this age of moral bankruptcy and a Wasteland more barren than T.S. Elliot ever imagined, who cares?

Is this good news or bad news?

It’s small news.

We as a society have been chipping away at the institution of marriage for a long time. So what is so surprising here?

The legendary single parent.

Sympathy, contempt or admiration, or all three. You choose.

Career first or homemaker. It still makes for a thumping debate. Is it all the fault of MAN.? We could also lay this mess on society. There is really no middle-of-the-road solution here.  What is the answer?  Man smart, woman smarter. Or is it all the fault of Women?

From the psychoanalytic mind of Dr. Sigmund Freud: “The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is “What Does a Woman Want?”

Stomp on his grave if you want to. Do it subconsciously, he will like that.

And what about the sacred institution of marriage?  Well, it’s not sacred anymore, is it? You can hear the bra. burners of the sixties going heee, heee, heee…..  Baby, we told you so, way back when…

Wonder if Germain Greer is married? Or is she living with her Female Eunuch?

If she is married….? Ha! That would be ironic. Like the time I heard that the musician who composed, ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ had committed suicide. I just had to laugh. Sorry. Ha! Ha!

Is this what the American woman wants? Or, since it’s happening, might as well accept it. Is this an affront to all organized religions and conservatives? What happened to, “Till Death Do Us Apart?”

Someone should ask the different polygamist groups thriving in Utah. Maybe they have multiple answers to all these complicated questions.

So bye, bye Mr American pie….

And what do women say? Well, most polls state that they are extremely happy being without a spouse. And the children?  They are Ghost Riding in the wasteland. If you don’t know what Ghost Riding is, you’re not keeping up with the latest fad, buddy. Get in the fast lane on the information highway. Go to ‘Find The Perfect Partner.com.’ They have the answer.

So what happens now?

The State of the Union is strong. We are making progress.

We have eliminated the use of Tran’s fats.

Go; eat a six cheese rare beef burger. Supersize it.

You want fries with that?

I don’t know. Have to ask my wife first. Be back in a minute.

NY Times Article 51% of Women